The I word

today i am going to touch on quite a risky subject

infertility

i have wanted to write about this in certain other posts but felt it deserved a whole post to itself.so here goes

i am infertile just like all other ts sufferers and it is one of the biggest things, emotionally speaking, that we have to face

now i am not known for playing it safe or pulling punches on this blog ... and i don't intend to start now 

being infertile has never upset me in the slightest, i know that's controversial and i completely  understand why it devastates some women. 

here is the deal , i have known that i cant have my own kid since i was old enough to have had "the talk" 

and i think that has a big part to play in why i am so comfortable with it

there was never a time where i could imagine myself falling pregnant. i feel for the women with ts who grew up thinking they would one day have children  only for a dr to tell them they can't

by this point in my blog post your probably think i am just a teenager going through an "ewwww kids are gross" faze. let me tell ya something , i am not, in fact i am like the complete opposite. i am the definition of maternal

  

i walk into my church and its like the flipping pide piper of hamilin or some crap 

BUT ...

my definition of a mother is quite possibly wildly different to yours. and has

 NAFF ALL TO DO WITH DNA

you want a list of people who have been a "mother" in my life , its huge. i may not have called them mum but they have supported me and guided me since i was little ... there is no genetic code for love. these people have never had any obligation to me what so ever 

and now i even get to call someone mom ..

so yes im infertile , but will i be a mum in the future DAYM STRAIT 

more fall anyone who says any different 

wow this became more of a rant than i anticipated. but to summarize.

 i am infertile. and i don't give a crap, because i am going to adopt a kid that needs a family. and its gonna be awesome. people who are infertile are sometimes made to feel like less of a woman/man and that if you will pardon my french is BALL*ecpleative* last time i checked knocking some women you met at a club up doesn't make you a real man it makes you a doush. and having a working uterus and getting pregnant every five minuets when you cant look after the kids you have just makes you down right irresponsible the sign of a real women/man is raising that kid with morals and values and a good outlook on the world ...

now i may not give a flying fudge cake about being infertile but lots of people do , and that's OK so my advice to you girls that are struggling ....

. you are worth so much more than your ability to kids

. if your helping guide young people in any way shape or form, you are mother figure weather you believe it or not 

.talk to your spouce about it. don't keep it bottled up , this has broken far to many relationships up so , COMMUNICATE

.get professional help if you need to, there is no shame in talking something over with a therapist 

.you can be a mother even if it isent biologically yours 

ok so thats my advice ...

ima leave you with a quote frow the queen of all that is awsome tv 

Meredith grey 

"Biology, it's crap. Utter crap. DNA, RNA. It doesn't make someone your family."

lots of love 

Lauren 

xxx